by Wendee Mason

And on the seventh day God created man. She looked down upon him and said, "You'd be perfect without a penis," and then God created woman.

My sentiment exactly. Two days ago, my husband Joe invited me to the marriage counselor to clarify his long thought-out decision to live life on his own. He couldn't come up with a single reason to keep the marriage together, except for his obligation to me to give it another three to six month probation period. Not one reason came from within him for his own desires to stay with me. Ouch. I sat there, listening to the words, not really feeling the impact, not even now.

I had five dates that week and was pretty much worn out. I dressed on the wild side. Joe thinks I looked like a court jester. Red and black tunic dress, red leotards, red shoes, black belt. He was a little embarrassed to be with me. I didn't give a damn. Besides, I'd dated hundreds of men, and none of them had married me yet. It wasn't like he was the one.

But he was. And I'm very sad and disappointed in not making him happy and satisfied with me. I can't make this mistake again. As I see it, there were five stages of our relationship.

1. When am I going to get laid?

2. When are you going to marry me?

3. Just say no.

4. You'd be perfect without a penis.

5. When are you leaving me?

That about sums it up. But within each category were months of interactions that need to be analyzed. Each stage of my relationship reflected my views of life at that moment. Could I be the only woman who goes through this? I don't think so. I want to succeed in a relationship for more than seven years. Seven year itch. I would have never believed it. That's one big mosquito that bit him.

In a way, I'm excited about my future. I know I have a great life ahead. I have hope for others in my situation too. Women are strong. We just need to focus on the right things to regroup and create the reality that we were put on earth to do. Divorce, like death, is just another phase of life. But it's not the end. It's the start of a new beginning. And, boy, do I need a new beginning. Some days, my life seemed like a record that played the same song over and over again. No matter how much I liked the song in the beginning, it gets old after a while.

So here's a new record, a new tune to set my new life to. Hey, I'm even going to get a new stereo and speakers. I'm going for the gusto.