Chapter Nine
Secret Deals

(secret things I would like for you to do, but probably wouldn't tell you)

Check off each secret deal that you have.

After we make love, tell me you feel very lucky, and I'm really special to you.

Appreciate (and express appreciation for) the things I do to try to provide for you and protect you.

Be more independent when we are apart.

Be more interdependent when we are together.

Be a little less forceful and pushy in our personal dealings.

Be more assertive about your own needs.

Be more creative in all things.

Be more open and honest.

Compliment me to your friends when I'm not around.

Consider what has actually been said or done, before being defensive or angry.

Be a little more confident about yourself.

I would like you to receive my compliments more.

I wish you would temper your expectations about me.

I want you to let people know what you expect of them.

Let me know your feelings.

Figure out and tell me what it is you want exactly.

Have a life away from your family.

Be more comfortable with your body.

Stop asking me if your rear is too big.

Manage your finances better.

Be more assertive and vocal about your sexual needs.

Relax a little more.

If you would not focus on what you don't like about me.

Consider my feelings.

Don't worry so much about your job.

Tell me when you are unhappy.

Tell me why you are unhappy.

Tell me how you feel.

Tell me any problems you have with me.

Take me into consideration with your decisions you make in your personal life.

Take the initiative sometimes and be more creative about lovemaking.

Don't make assumptions about me or what I think, or how I am.

Communicate more freely.

Don't be so concerned about what others think.

Honor me and hold me in high esteem.

It would be nice for you to make love to me instead of requiring me to do it.

If we had more interests in common.

Just take more time for us, so we could rekindle our love for one another.

Say more kind words.

Kidnap me and arrange a weekend at a bed-and-breakfast on the coast.

Learn that you are not the only one that needs to be reassured.

Listen more carefully.

Loosen up and let go of prior inhibitions.

More sexual initiation on your part.

Show a great deal of appreciation for something I did for you.

Be more open and honest with me.

Accept yourself.

Don't change to please others.

Help us plan our future together.

Never be anything less than your own person.

Never show jealousy.

Remember that I can't read your thoughts.

Be on time for dates.

Don't leave all the decisions up to me.

Do not assume that something I said once is still how I feel now.

Pay more attention to me.

Spend more time talking to me.

Develop more interests of your own.

Take initiative in the role of the romancer.

Take better care of your body.

Let me know I am a good lover.

Tell me when I do things that bother you.

Be able to take part in a political conversation.

Once in a while, act very sexy toward me in public.

When I have had a very stressful day at work, give me a massage.

Let me relax and "be me".

Let me enjoy whatever happens without pretense.

Let me know when I've satisfied your sexual needs.

When I come home midweek, tired from work, greet me at the door wearing nothing but a smile.

When I come home I'd like to find you sitting on the couch with a glass of wine waiting for me.

Compliment me in ways that build my self-confidence.

For my birthday take me out for a steak and lobster dinner.

Plan a whole evening for us together.

Let me know that I have made you happy.

Surprise me with a weekend trip to a health spa.

Give up other things to be with me just because you want to.

Make me laugh.

Let everyone know you have a very good opinion about me.

Sometimes be willing to do whatever I want to do.

Make me feel special by _____________________________.

Take the attitude of pleasing me first.

Surprise me when we go out for dinner.

Acknowledge the things I do for you.

Tell me to keep the weekend open because you are going to surprise me.

Tell me how wonderful I am whenever I do something nice for you.

Write a song or a poem for me.

Make an evening all mine to do whatever I want with you.

Keep in good physical shape.

Trust me.

When you're ready, tell me you love me.

When the world is falling apart around me, lift my spirits by making me laugh

Take special care in washing my clothes the way I want them washed.

Appreciate my career despite my income.

Be consistent in your behavior toward me.

Write me love letters.